I was talking to a cousin last night at another cousin's debut party. There was nothing really to talk about but this was a cousin whom I haven't had the chance to mingle with for quite some time. I guess it was the appropriate venue to do some chit chats with her to make up for the long time we hadn't seen each other. She's gotten a bit of weight, compared to last time I saw her. Oh, I also noticed the glistening braces that she has and that completes the comparison scheme on her "before and after". She was inviting me to her condo... what? A condominium??? She gotta be kidding me. She was just a year older from me but now she has a property? I, too had a property that was just acquired this year. However, it was just a humble townhouse at an area not so far away from the apartment we were renting-and it will take me 30 years to pay. I don't mean to say that she doesn't deserve it... but I was just simply amazed and quite envious of what she had acquired. A plush condo... a dream property everyone wants to have. How did she get it? She wasn't a part of any syndicate or mafia or what not. She was a member of Multi-Level Marketing business, something that she has been inviting me for a year but I always turned her offers down. Now, with the braces, the financial resources, and a property, she really is talking.

I always admit that I am "mukhang pera". I am open and honest with my friends and family about wanting to have lots of money. I would venture any opportunity to create money..from networking to real estate. However, with things going on-from rejections to inadequacies; the dream of prosperous life in financial terms is starting to become as just a dream. I do wish every effort that I make translates into monetary success. I even created this blog to monetize. Thanks to my friend who happens to be my boss at work for helping me. I earned cool cash but when recession took place, all opportunities lost.

They say that being rich starts with the mind. You should be the one to convince yourself that you are rich, no matter what status are you in right now. I remember watching a TV program were the speakers encourage people to dream of wealth. They say that money really is not the root of all evil. Everyone wants money. With money, we can visualize things that we want that someday will be on our possession. I remembered one speaker where she overuses her gestures and facial expressions over the money matter saying: "ay, gusto ko ng pera, maraming maraming pera! (I want money, lots and lots of money!). I welcome wealth into my life!" Funny but it's true. It will just depend however on how we manage money.

Another point though, we want money and we find ways on how to have one. We apply for jobs, venture any available and possible opportunities. But, are we doing these things just for the sake of having one? There was a hard hitting lesson on me about all the things I had experienced. We've got to love first the things that we are doing AND THE MONEY WILL JUST FOLLOW. We have to put interest on it, we have to enjoy it. We have to search on what's available in us and not on the things that we are not capable of.

Now, I am starting to love blogging (after a year or so..). Will more money follow? Haha, I really do hope so.

I can say that I am blessed with my career that I do have right now. I hardly sought this and it took me some time to get a hold of it. Now that I have what I wanted I thought I am okay. I am still dissatisfied. The feeling stays the same and it somehow gets worse.

Was there a some sort of "beast" lurking within the deepest recesses inside me? The answer is a loud "Yes" and I call it COMPARASITIS (comparing oneself to others). Last night, I had a chance to mingle with my very close cousin who happened to be my classmate and buddy all throughout my schooling era. (from elementary up to college) We were talking about some schoolmates-their whereabouts and what they are now. Some had traveled around the world due the job requirement, one had become a head nurse abroad. The other one became a supervisor in an advertising agency and another one, just got her Mazda 3 even after just working for 3 months in a cruise ship. That was a nice evening chat. I went home and slept. Morning came and I woke up. The thoughts about the last night's conversation came in with a brute force as I opened my eyes. Reality came in and I suddenly felt a sense of inadequacy. I was still living in a small, shabby apartment after working for two years. I was able to purchase some gadgets but all of them were lost except for my iPod.

That was just because of the things I heard on that last night. Success stories of other people made me feel inferior for the thought of their accomplishments are greater than mine. There was this belief that I should be better than them or worse, better than anyone else. I alwasy wanted to revert back on those times when everything was simple. I am simply contented on what I had
and what I was.

I searched for some articles at the website to seek answers on comparing oneself to others. I liked what the author said about overcoming this obstacle. Being contented is like a glass of water, being filled regardless of it's width or capacity to hold enough volume. I hope I could apply this simple principle. Though it's hard to implement, I will still have to try.